Thursday, October 27, 2005

Best Prayer I Have Heard In A Long Time...

Heavenly Father,
Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed , disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student , balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.
Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.
Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment , knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together .
Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love . It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.


Working for God on earth doesn't pay much ......but His retirement plan is out of this world !

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

What a week...

busy busy busy!

I don't have time right now to head home between one thing and the next, so I needed to kill some time in the library... which means blogging, apparently.

Well, first I took care of some other "administrative stuff" like submitting my resume to Target online, because I'm referred now by an insider... I'm way excited about that. I heard from someone that the way to get a job was to know someone inside at Target... and I DO now, so yes!! I guess I could see myself at Target... moreso than anywhere else I've applied thus far. :)

Anyway, so last night was a fun night--out to see Pat McCurdy... the guy is funny, but sometimes so offensive in what he says/thinks about Christians... I feel bad for him sometimes, just because he has such a misconstrued image of Christians and who we call our God. But hey, everyone has some misconceptions at times, all you can do is just be steadfast in your belief... the only way for someone to know who Christ really is, is through Christians livin' it.

SO... moving on. I am VERY excited all of a sudden about this weekend. Friday I was able to switch work shifts with a friend so that I can make it home to see my parents and go with them to the THEATER! :) It's so fun and I'm so grateful to have parents that a) go to the theater; b) invite me to go with; and c) are actually fun to go to the theater with!!

Sometimes I just feel so lucky. In spite of anything and everything and however stressed out I feel, I just sometimes can't believe all the good things in my life!! (Other times maybe I do end up forgetting--so if I ever do that someone should just be like, "Em! Go read your blog from Oct 26, 2005!!)

Continuing with the weekend... Saturday I will get to see Jess and the puppies(dogs really now) when I pick up my costume--a flapper dress and headband with a feather!! :) Then Saturday night I am not sure what the plans are... but I'm sure I will end up "out" somewhere in Madison. I just hope I don't get hit in the head with another soda can on State St!! (Yes, in one of the riots, the first year, I was smacked upside the head with a half full soda can. I think it was Pepsi. Figures.)

So yeah, as for this week leading UP to the weekend... busy busy busy like I said. We've got a candy sale going on right now for IBSA/Rotaract... anyone who is in Grainger EVER, you should come buy some it's a crazy good deal--2 real sized candy bars for $1!! (Not even the little cheapie 'fun-sized' bars... which I don't think are much fun at all!) But anyway so because I'm in charge of the candy sale, it means a lot more time and effort for me... which is good, but still just busy busy busy.

sometime today I also need to find time to bake/make some sort of dessert for tomorrow's Lifegroup meeting. I'm not really sure what to make... and not really sure when I'll have time to make it... but we'll see I guess! (of course this also all means I have to get to the grocery store sometime in there too...)

Also heading to a workshop tonight for "conflict management and member retention" for IBSA/Rotaract. I don't think we've got too much conflict, but it would be nice to know how to keep members around more. We start most semesters with a bunch (like 50-60) and end with like 20-30... not great.

this is turning out to be SUPER long... but it's just because I keep on rambling as long as I have time and as long as I can think of things to say.

So, I really do want to find another part time job for next semester. As much as I love the Fluno Center because of the people I work with and all, it's a pain because I don't really have the time to work as many hours as I need to at that pay rate. It would be awesome to find a job also that maybe had a little more to do with mkting or business... waitressing doesn't exactly beef up the resume too much. It's unfortunate.

So, barring some highly theological or philosophical tangent, I don't have a whole lot more to say right now. Unbelievable I actually CAN'T think of more to babble about. Normally that wouldn't be a problem. :)

oh actually no, one more thing. So I've decided I hate paying bills. Our electric and gas bill has been WAY more than I ever have had before and after calling to check with the electric company, they said it was actually still pretty LOW for the place we are living and the # of people. LOW. no way. Anyway so that stinks, we haven't turned the heat on yet, because we don't want it to be even MORE expensive but it is getting a LITTLE chilly. We all walk around bundled up all the time and I am thinking of designating a blanket to be my cape for the winter.

So there ya have it folks, my life in a nutshell sortof. Questions, comments and suggestions are welcome. :) Have a nice day!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Well I wasn't Harmsed as much as I thought!!

I'm amazed... I did ok on an exam I thought I pretty much failed. So yay!! I am in a very good mood because of that! 3 of 3 I've gotten back so far turned out ok, so praise the Lord! The last 2 I think will be ok as well, I'm pretty confident on the one I've already taken and the one I'm on my way to take right now (gotta run!) should go fine so, hooray.

Ok, I just needed to share some excitement! :) YAY!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I love lamp.

This has been a good weekend. Friday night was fun, even ran into someone from Horlick! Small world. :)

All I can say about Saturday was: good game boys, good game.

I wish I would've had my camera with me this weekend, I realized today that I haven't taken a single picture since moving into this new apartment. Not one. I have a digital camera now and never use it. How ridiculous.

Also got some valuable (or not-so-valuable) Anchorman watching time in this weekend. I love lamp. Me encanta la lampara or something like that, right Er?

I watched the Cider House Rules while falling asleep the other night too, and realized that I don't think I really like it. Not so great. I guess because some of the ideology in it is flawed. It definitely leaves the watcher feeling pretty down about life in general. You can tell it's a hollywood movie.

So that's about that. Gotta study for my Roman Civ exam tomorrow afternoon. Not looking forward to taking it but since it's all gonna be multiple choice I'm pretty sure it'll be easy enough. The class in general hasn't been that much of a challenge and it's unfortunately also not as interesting as it could be. There's so much intrigue and stuff in that ancient roman history and whatnot, betrayals and everything--yet we're focusing on like, gods and godesses and whatever... if I wanted to learn about Greek mythology I wouldn't have taken "Ancient Roman Civilization" but it's all good. One thing I thought was interesting was how much the persecution of Christians in ancient Roman Civ was just glossed over. At least it was mentioned but it is just interesting, we've focused a lot kind of on how women were oppressed and yet, Christians were massacred and the only mention of it was like a fleeting sentence. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, maybe we'll talk more about it in the week dedicated to "religion" later on.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Crisis Averted... temporarily?

So for some who've talked with me in the past few days, you're aware I've been suffering from a mental breakdown regarding "the future" -well folks, you'll be happy to learn that I am pulling out of it.

I talked to a woman who works for Olive Garden (in FLORIDA no less) in market research and I realized that is probably what I want to do. so now, how to get there?

Still a little flipped about the whole, I will graduate soon and have to move somewhere and be alone and not know people and all that jazz, but--I guess I feel more ok about that. Today.

So what else is new? I think I get an exam back today and I am hoping it will not ruin the afternoon. On the upside, no quiz today! :)

sometimes I think about just how much life we (people in general) waste. it's odd though, somehow it doesn't spur me on to NOT waste time, it just makes me feel bad about wasting the time. In some cultures there is no concept of "wasting time" you can't "waste" or "spend" or "lose" or "save" time. Time is just there. It doesn't have the VALUE that it does in our culture. Maybe I should move. But I don't think that would help, by now I've been so inundated with our culture of "time" that there's no help for it I fear. Eh well

So in talking to my roommate last night I realized something, that I let myself get swept up pretty easily in the excitement of a new romance and then when I start to think about the reality of it and it's not all fairy-tale perfect, I immediately revert to the mode of thinking where I compare the NEW to the OLD... more specifically to one particular relationship--and the new guys always lose. Which is only NATURAL, since obviously a new relationshp isn't going to be as stable of comfortable or secure as a long-term thing. And in spite of awareness about how NO guy is perfect (not even said old guy), I think I'm getting too easily turned off to guys. Does that make any sense?

And then that fits in well with the minor mental crisis that I'm just pulling out of right now, to do with the fact that life changes too quickly sometimes and we're all left just trying to keep up.

And that's when I realize that maybe I just shouldn't worry about any of this "deeper meaning" stuff and just be all care-free and not worry about tomorrow just like 80% of today's population.

Motion City Soundtrack is good. I feel like whoever wrote the songs would be interesting to talk to. Plus the lead singer's voice has a really cool, unique sound to it. IMHO.

Some lyrics-o-the-day

How it got so cold that words just froze
We had to wait 'til summer to find out what was said
One of the best times that we had.

I know I say that I'm just fine,
But I hope you wonder from time to time.

I was nervous from the start that our muscles might tear us apart
(Are muscles tearing us apart?)
From the words that carve our lives to the words that take us by surprise
(I was never taken by surprise.)
From the sounds that disappear to the changes we begin to fear




We love that game but we never play
'cause we will lose and we wanna stay
the way we are, the way we've been for far too long

And we feel like rain,
when the words all sound the same.
As the curtain closes on another day



I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent.
I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent
and have common sense.. yeah
Let me in, let me in to the club, cuz I wanna belong,
And I need to get strong, and if memory serves,
I'm addicted to words and they're useless.


so now I've wasted another significant amount of my time, and I think I will go brush my hair or something.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I've been Harmsed!!

ok, that was lame. But I seriously feel almost physically bad after my rather pathetic showing on the exam in Harms' Bus Law class... yes, I may have failed it. Well, maybe a D. I don't know what my problem was I just couldn't study/learn what I needed to I guess. But crap. The perfect capstone to a week spent stressed out already about things that I really just need to let go of and let God.

Grr. in any case, time to eat. (because that's what we women DO in these situations...)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Weekend Recap...

Not a whole lot to recap... but generally good.

What else needs to be said about the Badgers? :) Had a decent game-day game-watching get-together in our apartment, complete with home-made salsa, taco dip, nacho bar, and mud cups! yum! :) (not the healthiest lunch I guess, but meh!)

Friday night was fun actually too, another wine and cheese party-for which I actually even put on a dress! Made up for not having someone to go to the Blackhawk dance at Monona Terrace with even.

Church tonight was nice... very good message about however badly you screw things up, God still just wants to make everything GOOD. Grace despite whatever you do. It was interesting because the point was illustrated using Abram as an example-- becaues God said he'd bless Abram with 2 things, descendants and land. Then the very next 2 things Abram does: leaves the land God gave him and gives his wife (needed for the descendants part!) to the pharoah of Egypt! But God STILL blesses him with land and descendants--in spite of it all... just goest to show that no matter how much you fail to appreciate God's blessings, he's just all the more determined to see that you get them. That's a nice thought.

:)

And now it's time to study hardcore... I've read 7 chapters today from Churchill and Brown (Mkting Research) and let me tell you that has NOT been overly engaging. Eh well by Wed it will be over... that exam, bus law and also my first interview EVER. Now there's a busy three days for me.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Obligatory Fall Entry...

So, yesterday I was walking down the street and realized (once again) just how happy fall sometimes makes me! I just love the cool, sunny weather and the sound of leaves rustling as you kick your way through them... God sure got it right with the seasons...

It's interesting how bittersweet fall is... it got me thinking about what all the seasons really make me feel. Like, fall I love and yet it means that summer is ending and winter is around the corner... and I like winter--but when winter turns to spring I am not at ALL sad. I am ALWAYS ready for winter to end... so spring is just purely joyful! Summer I enjoy but always end up feeling like time is going too fast--so summer actually makes me anxious about life flying by so quickly...

Speaking of time flying... that's another thing I've been thinking about. It is my last year of college ever. I keep forgetting about that detail and then re-remembering it and every time it freaks me out. My life starts... I mean, it has already, but you know, REAL life begins in under a year and well, I guess I just still don't really feel like I know where I'm going! And that's ok and all, but I guess it's just a strange feeling. For the first time in my life I have NO idea where I will be in a few months. I could be in Milwaukee or Texas or Germany or Minnesota or N.Carolina or... well ANYWHERE. And that is a very strange thought. I mean, even before I knew for certain where I wanted to go to school (college) I knew at least that I was going to go to college. Life has just been a natural progression thus far... and all of a sudden here's a decision point-- and I need to figure out where to go and what I want to do. Another interesting thing about it all is, I never really thought I would be so completely on my own at this stage in my life. I figured I would have one person who I would be making some sort of plans with by now... but I guess it's nice to have the independence to just do whatever... strange, some people don't want to be tied down, but I feel very rootless and am not sure I like it...

Well this got very pensive all of a sudden. Done with that.

:) On an upside exam #1 of 5 done... and I think done well, but we'll see on Friday I think.

Monday, October 03, 2005

how would you spell that grunty sound that Tim Allen makes on Home Improvement?

Today has been a rather productive day, despite some difficulty focusing in mkting research... who knows what was going on THERE...

I must say I feel like I'm getting a lot of stuff out of the way EARLY in the semester... things that I have to do at some point that I've signed up for already. That makes me feel optimistic that perhaps towards the end of the semester I will not be so harried. Good things.

I got some good feedback on a paper I wrote too, so that kinda boosted my day. All in all, pretty nice start to the week.

This is so diary-ish right now... to copy someone I know,

Random Thought #1: I baked more cookies and they're delicious and my roommates like them and I like them.

Random Thought#2: I washed my sheets this weekend so they're all fresh and crisp and clean and I like them.

Random Thought #3: I'm going to the theater in Milwaukee with my parents and Kim at the end of the month and that's exciting!

Random Thought #4: YAY the Narnia Chronicles are being made into a movie and it BETTER be good! :)

That's all folks.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

He knows our needs...

Beth Moore
Apr 20, 2005
Knoxville Airport -

Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord.

I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise.

I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair. Snarly gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back.

I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting.

Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport... an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?....

There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about that thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with feeling for him.

Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.

I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind.

"Oh no, God please no." I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, "Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!Not now. I'll do it on the plane."

Then I heard it..."I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair."

The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, "God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm your girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. I am on him. I am going to witness to this man."

Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. "That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair."

I looked up at God and quipped, "I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane, How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?"...

God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: "I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works." (2 Tim 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself.

I knelt down in front of the man, and asked as quietly as possible, "Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?"

He looked back at me and said, "What did you say?"

"May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?"

To which he responded in volume ten, "Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that.

At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, "SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?"

Every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, "If you really want to."

Are you kidding? OF course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, "Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush."

"I have one in my bag," he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was badly tangled. I don't do many things well, but I must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls.

A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair.

I know this sounds so strange but I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. I loved that stranger so much and the emotion was so strong and so pure that it had to be God's.

His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said, "Sir, do you know my Jesus?"

He said, "Yes, I do." Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, "I've known Him since I married my bride."

"She wouldn't marry me until I knew the Savior." He said, "You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my wife in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself, 'What a mess I must be for my wife.'"

Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known.

It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane.

I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, looking a little teary. She said, "That old man is sitting on the plane, crying. Why did you do that? What made you do that?"

I said, "Do you know Jesus? He can be so bossy!" I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted because you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!

I got on my own flight, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way... all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.