good ol' tom

Little Yam

Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally
they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called
'Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her
about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally
mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up
with a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry; no Spud would get her
into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato
either. She would get plenty of exercise and eat well so as not to be
skinny like her Shoestring cousins. When she went off to Europe, Mr. and
Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland.
And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she
went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't
associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other
side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say,
'Frito Lay.' Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato
University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But
in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced
she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly
marry Tom Brokaw because he's just........................ A COMMON
TATER !!